How to Raise your Kids after Divorce

childYou love your children so much but due to the unfortunate, you have fallen out of love with your spouse. Each of you has gone separate ways and the only thing keeping both of you together is your kids – It can be traumatizing I understand. But despite all of this, how do you handle the whole situation? Research has it that 80 percent of children of divorce end up coping and adapting well, without having any lasting feelings of mental problems.

The process of handling a divorce is not easy, but we have some basic rules of the thumb that can help us to keep kids happy and complete during such a time.

 

Don’t speak negatively of the other parent

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent after divorce is to speak negatively of the other parent in front of your kids. This is because your kids will repeat almost everything. If you have any negative opinion about your partner, it should never be communicated in front of your kids. The relationship they will have with their kids should not be influenced by your words. Let them make such a decision on their own without pressure or duress. Avoid instigating unnecessary drama to your kids by speaking ill about the other partner.

Communicate

You need to communicate directly with your children. If you find that you have an ill-will towards your former spouse, you should speak to the partner directly. You should never use your children as middlemen whether directly or indirectly. Studies show that your children need stability as a high conflict between parents can cause an extremely harmful effect on children.

 

Don’t change things up

If you find that you and your ex can not reach a streamlined agreement on the acceptable style of parenting, you may find it as an opportune moment to start doing things all your way. If you are not wrong, there is no need to panic. Understand that your children are facing a massive period of transition in their lives that may be difficult to deal with.

You also need to do all you can to honor best practices. Use the opportunity you have to become a fun parent. Do your best to make it easy and don’t freak out. When your kids want to visit the other parent, allow them to do so without a lot of restrictions. Allow them to call the other parent without you being too hard on them.

 

 

How to help your child develop self-confidence

confidenceSelf-confidence is a very important ingredient when it comes to all the aspects of your child’s healthy development and a vital ingredient for school success. Confidence is the belief in your ability to master your behavior, body and the challenges you encounter in life. Self-confidence is very important in getting well with others and working out to solve many social challenges such as making friends, competition, and sharing. Children who are self-confident find that other person likes them and expect relationships to be fun and satisfying.

If you are looking for ways to instill self-confidence in your children, here are notable ways to go about it.

 

Establish routines with your child

You need to establish routines with your child. When events can be predicted, and if they happen in approximately the same way, same time, your child will feel confident, secure and in control. If he knows for example bath comes first, then books, then he will know what will be expected of him and he can do all that’s expected confidently. If day to day events occur randomly, it can cause a lot of anxiety for your child.

 

Create Opportunities

You should allow for and facilitate plenty of opportunities for your child to play and interact. A play is what a child uses to learn by themselves. Through play, a child can learn how to solve problems and develop confidence that is required to tackle life challenges. The play also helps a child to understand what it feels to try new roles and take responsibilities.

 

Problem-solving

Help your child learn to become a problem solver. Help them work through problems but do not always solve problems for them. The goal of this exercise is to guide and support your child solve problems by offering them a guide on what they need to know and do, and not a dictation on what they only have to do. If they are able to develop problems on their own, they will develop a sense and feeling of confidence.

 

Responsibilities

You need to give your child roles and responsibilities. If you make them feel useful and needed, makes them feel important and loved, and this builds confidence. Ensure that you give them jobs that are appropriate for their ages. You also need to celebrate your child’s success.  This means you are showing your child that you recognize how he is growing and this helps build confidence in them.

How to Protect Your Child from Peer Influences

peer pressureStarting at a very young age, children are exposed to all sorts of messages be it on movies, TV, online among other places. Kids are also exposed to all influences on messages promoting smoking, drugs, alcohol among others. Humans like to consider themselves as individuals capable of making their independent decisions without consulting anyone. They are highly prized for their ability to stand out and chat their own paths as well as creating their own style. However, underneath all these, there is a deep desire to fit in.

Not only adults want to fit in, but even small children also have the tendency to go with the flow and do pretty much what others are doing. Teen peer pressure is much real and kids have to manage it every day.

 

Managing Teen Peer Pressure

When teens are growing up, they are constantly experimenting with the concept of individuality. They may experience a severe amount of pressure to do what others are doing. Managing their peer pressure may become equally difficult and utterly impossible. However, it becomes easy when parents come in to assist.

 

Understanding your child

As a parent, you have to understand your child and all the developments they are going through. During adolescence, their brain is developing at a remarkable rate. As their brain grows, there is a specific part of their brain that regulates their decision making. When kids are faced with a lot of pressure, they are constantly engaging their brain to make decisions. As a parent, you should help your child make these decisions.

Helping your teens

teen adviceNo matter how strong your kids may appear to be, you should not let them make some decisions on their own. Irrespective of how strong they may seem to be, it is very likely that they will encounter negative teen pressure at least once. You need to guide and teach them on ways to say no.  Some good options for saying no may include them saying; my parents will kill me if I used drugs, being around drugs makes me uncomfortable, among others.

 

Advising your teen

Teens who are in recovery from alcohol or drug addiction face a lot of risks when it comes to peer pressure. In their early stages of recovery, their body and brain may still be craving for the substance. The best you can do at such a time is to avoid subjecting them to too much additional pressure. You may look for an ally to help your child find and form a relationship with another student who equally resists pressure. You may also contact a support group who can help your kid with advice and guidance.

 

Besides seeking all possible avenues to assist your teen, as a parent, you can advocate for ways of developing healthy habits as a family. Parents can help by encouraging the family to do interesting things together such as taking hikes, signing for dance classes, playing games together and performing other experimenting tasks. Parents should also seek the guidance and advice from doctors on all medication that can help teens get out of danger faster.