You love your children so much but due to the unfortunate, you have fallen out of love with your spouse. Each of you has gone separate ways and the only thing keeping both of you together is your kids – It can be traumatizing I understand. But despite all of this, how do you handle the whole situation? Research has it that 80 percent of children of divorce end up coping and adapting well, without having any lasting feelings of mental problems.
The process of handling a divorce is not easy, but we have some basic rules of the thumb that can help us to keep kids happy and complete during such a time.
Don’t speak negatively of the other parent
One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent after divorce is to speak negatively of the other parent in front of your kids. This is because your kids will repeat almost everything. If you have any negative opinion about your partner, it should never be communicated in front of your kids. The relationship they will have with their kids should not be influenced by your words. Let them make such a decision on their own without pressure or duress. Avoid instigating unnecessary drama to your kids by speaking ill about the other partner.
You need to communicate directly with your children. If you find that you have an ill-will towards your former spouse, you should speak to the partner directly. You should never use your children as middlemen whether directly or indirectly. Studies show that your children need stability as a high conflict between parents can cause an extremely harmful effect on children.
Don’t change things up
If you find that you and your ex can not reach a streamlined agreement on the acceptable style of parenting, you may find it as an opportune moment to start doing things all your way. If you are not wrong, there is no need to panic. Understand that your children are facing a massive period of transition in their lives that may be difficult to deal with.
You also need to do all you can to honor best practices. Use the opportunity you have to become a fun parent. Do your best to make it easy and don’t freak out. When your kids want to visit the other parent, allow them to do so without a lot of restrictions. Allow them to call the other parent without you being too hard on them.