How to Raise your Kids after Divorce

childYou love your children so much but due to the unfortunate, you have fallen out of love with your spouse. Each of you has gone separate ways and the only thing keeping both of you together is your kids – It can be traumatizing I understand. But despite all of this, how do you handle the whole situation? Research has it that 80 percent of children of divorce end up coping and adapting well, without having any lasting feelings of mental problems.

The process of handling a divorce is not easy, but we have some basic rules of the thumb that can help us to keep kids happy and complete during such a time.


Don’t speak negatively of the other parent

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent after divorce is to speak negatively of the other parent in front of your kids. This is because your kids will repeat almost everything. If you have any negative opinion about your partner, it should never be communicated in front of your kids. The relationship they will have with their kids should not be influenced by your words. Let them make such a decision on their own without pressure or duress. Avoid instigating unnecessary drama to your kids by speaking ill about the other partner.


You need to communicate directly with your children. If you find that you have an ill-will towards your former spouse, you should speak to the partner directly. You should never use your children as middlemen whether directly or indirectly. Studies show that your children need stability as a high conflict between parents can cause an extremely harmful effect on children.


Don’t change things up

If you find that you and your ex can not reach a streamlined agreement on the acceptable style of parenting, you may find it as an opportune moment to start doing things all your way. If you are not wrong, there is no need to panic. Understand that your children are facing a massive period of transition in their lives that may be difficult to deal with.

You also need to do all you can to honor best practices. Use the opportunity you have to become a fun parent. Do your best to make it easy and don’t freak out. When your kids want to visit the other parent, allow them to do so without a lot of restrictions. Allow them to call the other parent without you being too hard on them.



How to help your child develop self-confidence

confidenceSelf-confidence is a very important ingredient when it comes to all the aspects of your child’s healthy development and a vital ingredient for school success. Confidence is the belief in your ability to master your behavior, body and the challenges you encounter in life. Self-confidence is very important in getting well with others and working out to solve many social challenges such as making friends, competition, and sharing. Children who are self-confident find that other person likes them and expect relationships to be fun and satisfying.

If you are looking for ways to instill self-confidence in your children, here are notable ways to go about it.


Establish routines with your child

You need to establish routines with your child. When events can be predicted, and if they happen in approximately the same way, same time, your child will feel confident, secure and in control. If he knows for example bath comes first, then books, then he will know what will be expected of him and he can do all that’s expected confidently. If day to day events occur randomly, it can cause a lot of anxiety for your child.


Create Opportunities

You should allow for and facilitate plenty of opportunities for your child to play and interact. A play is what a child uses to learn by themselves. Through play, a child can learn how to solve problems and develop confidence that is required to tackle life challenges. The play also helps a child to understand what it feels to try new roles and take responsibilities.



Help your child learn to become a problem solver. Help them work through problems but do not always solve problems for them. The goal of this exercise is to guide and support your child solve problems by offering them a guide on what they need to know and do, and not a dictation on what they only have to do. If they are able to develop problems on their own, they will develop a sense and feeling of confidence.



You need to give your child roles and responsibilities. If you make them feel useful and needed, makes them feel important and loved, and this builds confidence. Ensure that you give them jobs that are appropriate for their ages. You also need to celebrate your child’s success.  This means you are showing your child that you recognize how he is growing and this helps build confidence in them.